He has admitted his guilt

Previous marriages, now there's an odd thing. How does the relationship with ones ex  continue in life? Some people tootle along in life having very very bad relationships, forever nasty and children visits being acrimonious. Some people get on very well relieved that they are no longer together, but as normal people get on with their lives in new directions, only coming together for the children's sake.

My ex lives in South Africa, this is a good thing as it means that we never have to see him. He has had very little contact over the years with his son. He has called him once a year, and has sent the dutiful Xmas/b'day present (my sons b'day is at Xmas) Apart from that he never bothers us, and despite initially asking him to be more involved with my son it was never forthcoming, so we all gave up and decided we really are better off without him.

My son appears well adjusted with life, he has his full time stepfather, and see him as his real dad, the man in South Africa being some distant relative who is annoying to have to speak to, but at least sends him a present once a year! 

So anyway yesterday as we were all pottering about at Twycross zoo I receive a text from my ex husband. It said "Hope this finds you in good spirits, I am sorry I haven't been a good father but I will try and be a good one from now on. Pls forgive me"

WHAT??

We all sort of laughed and were confused. I asked him what prompted this, he said "A lot of soul searching and K (his new wife) I know now that I haven't done what any father should do, be there for his son no matter what"

Eh? We don;t really want him being there, but okay. My son was very bemused and worried as he didn't really want him to "be there for him"!!

So ex husband annoying being my favourite sport I couldn't resist in saying "Be assured he has a father in P" (my husband), which ex husband seem to take quite well.

Anyway throughout the day we had this odd conversation, him agreeing he was a rubbish father. I decided to lay the cards on the table I told him that I didn't really care what he said as I'd heard all this "I'm going to be a good father and try harder" before (annually!!) and didn't he think that actually he should be telling our son this rather than talking to me. I mean I could do without his texting really!!

Anyway he responded with how it was really nice talking to me, and how he was trying to change and it is taking him years.

Alarm bells rang so I asked him if his wife had left him. No....so then I asked the crucial question.

"Have you found God?" 

He said YES!! this was why he was asking for forgiveness.

eh? My evil ex husband who was tortuous when I was with him, jealous, evil, abusive, drunken nasty piece of work has been saved...????

I reminded him that he was a jealous evil bastard when we were married, and said that I thought it was funny that he was just asking for forgiveness that he was a rubbish father (I mean I find the abuse I suffered harder to deal with than the lack of parenting of our son)

He replied with "You don't have to remind me, I remember. Not proud of it, that is what I was asking for as well"

My God. (if there is one up there sorting this all out) He has admitted he was awful. He was the one who made my life awful.

I felt like I'd won a prize or something. I left him over 12 years ago and all this time he thought I was having affairs and sleeping with his colleagues (totally irrational) For me this admittance is worth everything ever..I won't give him his forgiveness yet (it's easier to ignore him) perhaps his God will? I guess if it makes him feel happy by asking for it, go ahead in his new found revelations of God and whatever else he is doing, but YES HE WAS THE ONE AT FAULT NOT ME, I always knew it, but it's great hearing that he thinks that he was horrendous too.