As a parent I seem to suffer from an inexorable amount of guilt. Unless I am physically next to them then I feel bad for not being there.
I am talking about work of course.
I have been a parent for nearly 14 years, the first 7 of which I was in full time work. I had the excuse then of not having a choice being a single parent, and if I wanted a mortgage to be paid and the car to be fed (as well as ourselves) then I had to work to get those things.
Since my eldest daughter came along, then I have been playing mum and managed to maintain my 'retirement' by having another child who is now 3 1/2.
I have played at work with a little choccie shop job, but had given up on this a few weeks back due to childcare/work pattern arrangements. This job has been promised back to me..but nothing definite in writing.
I have now another job that has come onto the table. I have been recommended by someone else for it and have been contacted by the potential employer directly. I now have the interview lined up and have childminders popped out of the woodwork all over the place to have the children. But WHY do I even feel guilty at the thought of returning to work full time?
In 12 months time all children will be full time in school and legally they HAVE to be there, it would just be the couple of hours I have to be at work after school that I need to be missing.
But right now even the thought of it makes me feel bad.
I'm going to the interview anyway as it's all good fun and the thought of something interesting to do next week is quite exciting, but in the same vein half of me wants to not be successful as it means that the weight of parental guilt is taken away, for now.
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3 comments:
Sometimes being a single mum is great, I think I would have found going back to work so very different if I wasn't single and had to. I must admit, I love it and love the fact that I don't feel guilty either, despite having to listen to childless colleagues once discussing the horror of women with small children going out to work.
Hey, maybe you should be going for the complete career change I'm contemplating, you are in a position not to mind the lower salary and starting out again. How about studying?
Oh yeah, too late to apply for the job I've gone for (thank goodness) you might be hot competition!
lol Hardly Morning glory! I'd just be telling them about how is SHRINKS your boobs!!
I do guilt big time but strangely not about going to work. Guilt about the food, their behaviour etc etc but we al benefit when I go to work. I'm lucky to have a great childminder who can offer them loads more than just the normal. Last week James watched a duck hatch out of its shell. Anyway I digress as usual...
Your children aren't really LOs anymore. L will be at school for 6 hours a day next year. So good luck with the interview but if it isn't what you want don't feel guilty!
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