tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-80792886491278356412012-01-19T16:49:01.471Z1001 ways we avoid doing whatever it is that *should* be done.Southerner North of Border (SNOB)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15457303491153557544noreply@blogger.comBlogger671100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-47744714902666820552011-03-08T09:40:00.002Z2011-03-08T09:58:44.695Z

Just had a good conversation with a fellow comrade on the battle field known as the playground. I didn't know I needed this conversation, but it would appear I did. I have overcome my worries of the eldest child and what book levels / reading group etc etc etc she was in, by disassociating myself from those conversations. (I still smart at remembering the mother who accused me of grading folk,

Southerner North of Border (SNOB)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15457303491153557544noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-16362600123834183822010-04-19T10:45:00.005+01:002010-04-19T18:41:55.673+01:00

Search Engines - they're a bit dull aren't they?I am like an overexcited 5 year old when it comes to birthday, Christmas, gadgets, things that are sparkly and these interactive websites, you know the ones that other people TALK to you as well. So when asked to delve around at Cofacio BEFORE everyone else got a look in, well I was they there like a, well erm, with a click.My initial thoughts were

Southerner North of Border (SNOB)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15457303491153557544noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-35924959231736597932010-04-17T17:50:00.002+01:002010-04-17T19:44:48.528+01:00

They do say that moving house is one of the most stressful things you can do. And right now, I agree. We've have the stress of no-one wanting to buy but what felt like the WHOLE world wanting to have a nose around. We then sold and it fell apart. And we sold again and we are moving. In 4 weeks to be precise. We have to go, that is that. That is the Scottish way.As for housework, even DH said "

Southerner North of Border (SNOB)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15457303491153557544noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-21779229034635011332010-03-07T21:08:00.004Z2010-03-07T21:30:18.676Z

You've heard me moan on and on about the volcano that lives in my house. It isn't a gently smouldering one like one would visit on a tourist trail. More a dangerous suddenly ERUPTING without warning and spilling its guts into every corner of the house and into every crevice it can find. I find dirty pants in the lounge, socks (hundreds) in the car and the clean washing, I put away the day before,

Southerner North of Border (SNOB)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15457303491153557544noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-80357011712061150912010-01-04T20:49:00.002Z2010-01-04T20:58:42.411Z

AH! you're thinking another bloggie post about how someone is going to be all singing all dancing and so much more in 2010 than in 2009.No, not me, actually, although I moan grizzle and rant. I quite like me. I quite like my life. I have no desire to farm my children out to folk of little training so I can jolly off to the shops / do housework / get my nails painted. Yes, I would like time to

Southerner North of Border (SNOB)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15457303491153557544noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-90377696192978466472009-12-16T21:12:00.005Z2009-12-16T23:25:30.303Z

This blog is written for the first person my girls chose as a friend for me. I wish I could bottle whatever insight they have now that gets lost when you get older.Heck is it just me, or is there nowt as WEIRD as folk?I spend my life in a state of paranoia. (What do you mean, just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they are not bitching about you?! :-) ).Being a bit of a Hobo, I've had the

Southerner North of Border (SNOB)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15457303491153557544noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-83301722247063331862009-10-02T21:06:00.004+01:002009-10-03T20:30:34.758+01:00

Come on! You want serious advice here! We can pretend that for a short while we can pull of the impression we are the perfect housewives.It's all in the preparation. Oh, SOD that! In real life you will wake up having been awoken by all children through the night. You will have at least one set of pee soaked sheets to wash, last nights pots in the sink, dishwasher full and then you'll remember

Southerner North of Border (SNOB)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15457303491153557544noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-58406552580101999592009-10-01T17:42:00.002+01:002009-10-01T19:38:55.116+01:00

Just read a heartfelt plea from an old school chum on just how in the world you can become the most suburban of all wives. How to achieve that accolade, that pedestal, that inbuilt desire in us all. How to be the PERFECT Stepford Wife. If you don't know what one is, you are obviously living in a cave or about 14 years old. Either way, cease reading.OK, here goes.Step One, acquiring the trappings

Southerner North of Border (SNOB)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15457303491153557544noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-23912245325070622842009-08-29T20:52:00.003+01:002009-08-29T21:14:38.884+01:00

This week I made a decision to re-home Muttley.I have got so stressed at his constant escape plans. A mixture of Houdini plays The Great Escape. So he has found a lovely home who will take him everywhere with him and hopefully he will not feel the need to escape every 30 seconds.Dogs are normally fabulous, but I wrote a list of all the things I will not miss.1. The fight to get through the door

Southerner North of Border (SNOB)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15457303491153557544noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-669479902484512612009-08-23T19:24:00.002+01:002009-08-23T19:40:08.036+01:00

Scrubbed, scrubbed and then some more. Flowers on display, beds made. I did the shake n vac dance around the whole house. (Go buy some, it is very therapeutic being a 1970's housewife). And then we went out to a local coffee house to make a mess on their floor. Today was the first day of "Open Viewings". Our estate agent / solicitor had assured us, it is what is done in these parts to get the

Southerner North of Border (SNOB)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15457303491153557544noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-24977982639107958602009-08-21T12:43:00.003+01:002009-08-21T12:54:54.681+01:00

DAMNATIONS!!! I thought I was still young, hip and super trendy and it has come as a complete shock to realise in the last fortnight not only am I old, I am positively ancient.Let me tell you about it, it came as a welcome call on a hormonal day. A young enigmatic and charming man from Virgin, telephoned to tell me what a *Valued* customer I am, and I could change my contract early. And it would

Southerner North of Border (SNOB)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15457303491153557544noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-28774637056192702502009-07-31T16:53:00.003+01:002009-07-31T17:06:47.590+01:00

I have just discovered an application on face book which allows us all to see who "stalks" us most on face book. OMG! I am nosey, they will all find out just HOW nosy I am! I am going to have to hide behind a newly cut fringe when the I have to return to the dreaded school run!But then there is twittering too. It came as a shock to me when a friend walled another friend concerned over her absence

Southerner North of Border (SNOB)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15457303491153557544noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-63552411400096038922009-07-28T21:40:00.002+01:002009-07-28T21:47:49.954+01:00

Today we were the perfect Stepford Family. The house was primed, polished and preened into submission. The children sent with a packet of biscuits to their Wendy house. I had the valuers in. It looked as good as it wil ever get. But blimey! The valuers sucked their teeth and shook their heads, tutted a little, not worth as much as I hoped they were sure I thought...Why can't they just be nice

Southerner North of Border (SNOB)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15457303491153557544noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-48727118634756187972009-07-27T12:11:00.002+01:002009-07-27T12:38:21.343+01:00

I've found the perfect house.Well not perfect. It only really has 3 bedrooms (even though it claims 5...) and it doesn't have a loo or bathroom upstairs. And it has rooms with very small windows. It needs lots of work. There is a stain in one of the bedrooms I recognise from before we had our roof replaced.And the garden has not be touched, it needs more than a lick of paint. and and and....But I

Southerner North of Border (SNOB)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15457303491153557544noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-76334012958220309442009-07-25T08:03:00.002+01:002009-07-25T08:22:13.399+01:00

I'm giving up cooking....It all started 2 weeks ago. The husband returns from work at 7pm. EVERYONE knows that the lead up to 7pm is a busy time in any household with pre-schoolers. So on days I have juggled the bath etc and prepared the husband a meal, quite frankly is a miracle. On the days when meals are just being started at 7pm, I think is understandable. But 2 weeks ago, it wasn't. Every

Southerner North of Border (SNOB)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15457303491153557544noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-67388022690542854102009-05-11T11:24:00.003+01:002009-05-11T13:32:33.004+01:00

I use to call it my mountain, but in recent weeks it has developed lava like attributes. It is spreading. Not slowly, but with huge a explosions, that double in size with a blink. I try to clear it. I do my best. I cleared the lot last night, but this morning it has returned and currently it is falling off the super king size bed and tumbling onto the floor already.How on Earth do we create so

Southerner North of Border (SNOB)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15457303491153557544noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-26194642413785514092008-12-19T13:38:00.002Z2008-12-19T13:41:30.656Z

This year my Christmas tree can best described as obese and very much a lush. Are all trees a reflection of their owner?

Southerner North of Border (SNOB)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15457303491153557544noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-68902698553181900812008-12-19T13:21:00.002Z2008-12-19T13:37:42.679Z

Old houses, new houses, big houses, small houses. Furnished in Ikea, furnished from Jenners. Cleaner, ironer, gardener, window cleaner.It is all such a worry when you meet a potential new pal in this housewife world. We are (albeit wrongly), judged by our houses as it is our work place. I love the mess our house gets into. I can't help but be messy. I was never given that "control freak"

Southerner North of Border (SNOB)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15457303491153557544noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-66610158194884160732008-11-07T20:10:00.003Z2008-11-07T20:22:26.239Z

Just back from a quick whip to the shop for Friday night supplies. But, I got *that* man at the checkouts again.Last time he asked if I was having a big party (well, it is better value in these credit crunching times to buy the BIGGEST bottle ). Tonight he said, "So, you've just finished work?", I immediately responded, "I don't work", but then felt I had said the wrong thing. I could tell

Southerner North of Border (SNOB)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15457303491153557544noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-65680067774579610722008-11-02T11:58:00.002Z2008-11-02T14:32:47.178Z

How do they do it? You know, those folk who always have tidy houses? I have HAD to hoover (or should it be "dyson"?) again this morning, more bleach in loo (not very green this cleanliness malarky) and I think the dishwasher is on again. I haven't even cooked a meal!The windows were cleaned on Tuesday but they are filthy (I shall blame the sea and storms). The floor needs a mop and polish (

Southerner North of Border (SNOB)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15457303491153557544noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-83311968961411125512008-10-21T17:24:00.000+01:002008-10-21T17:24:00.662+01:00

It's the first thing you learn in home economics after boiling an egg. Melt some butter, add some flour: you have a roux. Add some milk, stir until thick. Easy. Except that I can never remember which bit you turn the heat off for, and can never be bothered to look up what the right amounts. Guesswork is so much easier, even if it does sometimes result in lasagne soup, or a tablespoon of white

Milly Melonnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-79675447186281768802008-10-21T14:45:00.002+01:002008-10-21T15:03:12.800+01:00

 I  had a funny moment today. One of my old neighbours popped round to see me as he had got wind that I will be starting work.He put it to me that he would like to become my housekeeper. He is familiar with the general mess that I live amongst and thinks that as I won't be around much then it will all be too much for me.Now he had briefly mentioned this to me before in passing prior to me being

housewifenowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03565772236607715076noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-44988246756676390882008-10-20T13:51:00.003+01:002008-10-20T14:14:03.302+01:00

Feeling a bit of a fraud these days posting on this blog as I am soon due to return to the wild and rapid waters of full time employment.I wonder to myself once I am ensconced in the whirl of adults and commodity deals if I will ever lose the habit of seeing the world through children's eyes?If I see farm animals in fields as I drive along I get excited and point it out to the children

housewifenowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03565772236607715076noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-39306722612860841902008-10-15T21:25:00.006+01:002008-10-15T22:07:02.819+01:00

Firstly welcome to all the new bloggers on board and coming online soon! Cannot wait to hear what irritates and annoys fellow housewives!But the WASHING! Jees, the friggin washing.I was privy to a conversation by one of those enviable women. The type that makes it to the gym, looks cool and confident and to boot is bloody annoyingly nice with a great sense of humour when you speak to her. (BITCH!

Southerner North of Border (SNOB)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15457303491153557544noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-56553037803151761242008-10-13T14:00:00.002+01:002008-10-13T14:07:53.174+01:00

Just being having a natter with a fellow housewife about it all. We are a rare species in these parts - they will be getting binoculars out and stalking us "full time Mums". The thing is, why does everyone feel the need to ask when we are returning to work? Or which nursery our toddlers go to? Urm, I decided to look after my own children. And the nursery is the one called, "With my Mummy".Now

Southerner North of Border (SNOB)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15457303491153557544noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-81487376046704311752008-10-09T16:17:00.004+01:002008-10-09T21:34:15.449+01:00

Imagine the scene. Sedate Doctors waiting room, all mellow and calm if you had that second walked in. Small baby crawling about, 3 year old putting her shoes and socks on, the two year old chatting happily.Poor lady Doctor decided to call in her next patient, sees the scene and the faces of the people waiting ... raises her hands in surrender, "I promise, I didn't touch her".What on Earth could

Southerner North of Border (SNOB)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15457303491153557544noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-59693814878455017662008-10-09T00:44:00.001+01:002008-10-09T00:46:11.039+01:00

Apply within if you want to be a bad housewife blogger!!Proper applications please before we start interviews......

Southerner North of Border (SNOB)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15457303491153557544noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-12288887328067633172008-10-09T00:38:00.004+01:002008-10-09T21:21:40.474+01:00

It would appear that for the last two weeks when I thought the eldest was moaning as her muscles hurt her, was in fact she had a splinter in her foot and that is what is stopping her from running around and enjoying life to the full.I assumed (wrongly) it had managed to come out on its own after I attempted to get it out and failed. After all it has not been mentioned.After baths tonight I had

Southerner North of Border (SNOB)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15457303491153557544noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-68707500216448475352008-10-08T14:31:00.003+01:002008-10-08T14:56:52.402+01:00

So after a brief absence from the blog I have somehow managed to blag myself a full time job. It's one of those 9- whenever it's done jobs with a salary and car and  phone and all the stuff that goes with a proper job...including the ability to think which is hard in itself these days.So two surprising things have sprung to mind 1. The fact that I have managed to get this job in the first place

housewifenowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03565772236607715076noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-80053202348750240762008-10-06T09:57:00.003+01:002008-10-06T10:00:19.482+01:00

We need to stand up and fight for our rights! Everyone else who works gets sick leave (OK, I know some are un paid, but we are un paid as it is!)So I demand the right to be ill. To be able to stay in bed and feel sorry for myself. OK, I relent, just not have to get dressed and do the school run when I feel crappy ill.Hurumpf. And the too smallest are feeling it too, so at least the 3 of us are

Southerner North of Border (SNOB)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15457303491153557544noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-34805169946757490842008-10-05T21:22:00.003+01:002008-10-05T21:39:26.070+01:00

That's all I seem to have done all week. And to my fellow blogger. Moan, gripe, moan.I have had enough of this endless torture of not sleeping through the night. I have forgotten, it's been years since I went to bed and got up at the time I want to. It has been dictated too long. I want to go to bed before 11, but know smallest will wake at 10:50 on the dot and want milk.I want to then go to bed

Southerner North of Border (SNOB)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15457303491153557544noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-39759480158902301532008-09-25T13:47:00.003+01:002008-09-25T14:17:21.053+01:00

The end is in sight. Tomorrow should be the last day of banging my behind (or to that matter my front and top). The roofers are going to be finished! Hurrah, flipping hurrah. I seem to spend all my time living in houses riddled with workmen.So far in this house, I have had kitchen fitters (supplied by IKEA - not recommended, very uncouth lot). Several tilers came round to do quotes to tile my

Southerner North of Border (SNOB)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15457303491153557544noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-87615919754390938322008-09-25T11:23:00.001+01:002008-10-09T21:16:21.473+01:00

Just a random thought, why are all window cleaners men???

Southerner North of Border (SNOB)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15457303491153557544noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-54239713579665559522008-09-19T07:46:00.003+01:002008-09-25T11:22:37.219+01:00

I wrote this blog days ago and with all things, I lost it by having too many children scrambling over me / demanding things.Well, "Efficient". Mmmm, that is the comment an ex fellow housewife said to me after her return to the world of suits last week. "I am much more efficient now."What the frig does that mean? How can you measure efficiency in housewivery? After all, most of the job is being

Southerner North of Border (SNOB)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15457303491153557544noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-89365294736231577022008-09-18T14:18:00.006+01:002008-09-18T14:59:04.498+01:00

Sigh, As a parent I seem to suffer from an inexorable amount of guilt. Unless I am physically next to them then I feel bad for not being there.I am talking about work of course.I have been a parent for nearly 14 years, the first 7 of which I was in full time work. I had the excuse then of not having a choice being a single parent, and if I wanted a mortgage to be paid and the car to be fed  (as

housewifenowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03565772236607715076noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-1155014218112806452008-09-18T14:18:00.003+01:002008-09-18T14:29:34.858+01:00

Well after the trauma of my cherished Boden coat looked terrible on me I'd forgotten all about coats for a while...except of course to check online that I got the money refunded from them for returning the coat! So imagine my surprise to be poking around the cake section in Tescos yesterday and my gaze meandered over to the clothing section. There was a red coat similar to the one I'd sent back

housewifenowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03565772236607715076noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-24966035605078310812008-09-15T15:27:00.004+01:002008-09-15T20:12:22.427+01:00

Back from a lo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ong trip round our island, down the East coast to the deep dark South and back up the West side just skipping into Wales before the slog upwards back into Scottishland.I forget EVERY time, just how many cars there are down South. We all get very irate and shout allot at inept drivers who are just everywhere. Let's face it, if you are being overtaken by a

Southerner North of Border (SNOB)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15457303491153557544noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-82643504421741332642008-09-15T12:57:00.003+01:002008-09-15T13:41:14.832+01:00

My daughter had her 'pre school boosters' last Friday. I hate taking her for such things so much. In fact if I were ever to become pregnant I think the thought of having to give the baby the jabs is enough to send me to the adoption agency!I know that my daughter had to have them, rather the jabs than measles, diptheria, tetanus, whooping cough, mumps, rubella etc etc and whatever else was in the

housewifenowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03565772236607715076noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-53253114081260251282008-09-09T12:12:00.003+01:002008-09-09T12:23:20.900+01:00

Boden coat arrived. The box stank to high heaven like the rats that I looked after (they lived amongst cardboard, and the box was 75% recycled)Opened the box, lovely packaging. Pulled out the coat. A brighter red than I expected.Tried it on , and I looked like total shit. The children said I looked like Mary Poppins, but with out the black.I thought I looked like a pregnant tomato (I'm not

housewifenowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03565772236607715076noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-40138668869731495922008-09-05T18:19:00.004+01:002008-09-05T18:44:30.128+01:00

They are sacred in this house. Always have been since I can remember. We drink too much and watch shite on the telly. That is what we do. Even when I have been pregnant DH kept the tradition going on his own, more often than not finding his way upstairs at 4 in the morning having fallen asleep with a glass in his hand.It is what keeps us who we are, stupidly drunk, talking shit and generally

Southerner North of Border (SNOB)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15457303491153557544noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-63178610985881961262008-09-04T21:29:00.002+01:002008-09-04T22:22:20.917+01:00

Seriously, its shocking. My house is like living in a barn, but how did it get such a mess in such a small amount of time?I have no clue...apart from my current migraine which has meant I've not been feeling well so not really had the ability to do my usual pick up after the family.I mean I currently feel absolutely shit, head banging, feel poisoned, nauseous, (all the classic hangover symptoms!!

housewifenowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03565772236607715076noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-7128482082221523042008-09-02T10:53:00.002+01:002008-09-02T11:40:19.023+01:00

I'm just very confused about the whole work thing.The way I left it a couple of weeks ago with my boss (boss being an owner of 8 shops that I don't see on a day to day basis) was that after consultation with my parents I DID now have childcare to cover and would be able to be continue at work after all. (I had resigned a few days earlier due to my parents saying they couldn't have my children)My

housewifenowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03565772236607715076noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-6278972505187767592008-08-30T16:18:00.003+01:002008-08-30T16:54:53.122+01:00

We spent the last week sunning ourselves in balmy (or was it barmy??!) Scarborough.I have to say we all had a great time.Unlike snob I do not have an 'outfit' so had to make do with a cottage in a place between Scarborough and Filey (Killerby Old Hall) I have to say it was a real home from home (apart from the addition of their swimming pool), with a welcome pack of tea, wine (pinot grigio wow

housewifenowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03565772236607715076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-47384403472545193252008-08-28T15:55:00.003+01:002008-08-28T16:10:33.977+01:00

I have given up, decided to treat the 7 month old as a newborn and be prepared to give her at least 2 feeds in the night and then be up at 6a.m. (well woken up - actually up is stretching it, hiding under the duvet is more accurate) with the others.But as I do, I had one too many gins last night and watched the rather lame BB live competition. So I reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally needed a nap this

Southerner North of Border (SNOB)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15457303491153557544noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-83916178126078722972008-08-27T12:40:00.002+01:002008-08-27T12:54:20.875+01:00

Finally the middle one got her dancing lesson yesterday. OVERJOYED is an understatement. I am guessing she didn't actually do any dancing (what with having her Mother's genes and all that). BUT she got to wear her leotard and sparkly tapping shoes along with 8 other girls also all frilled up to the nines. Told big sister all about it and when she got home, I overheard her telling her favourite

Southerner North of Border (SNOB)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15457303491153557544noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-29697351497141104482008-08-23T14:12:00.003+01:002008-08-23T14:52:14.745+01:00

I'm reaching the end of my 30's and being a healthy youngster is starting to lose it's grip and my skin isn't what it used to be with that youthful glow. I blame the children for my loss of fresh faced gorgeousness having had life sucked out of me day and night, but in reality it's probably drinking too much wine.Anyway, I have a wedding reception to attend on Sunday afternoon (a rarity when you

housewifenowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03565772236607715076noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-47030515295129962922008-08-22T18:19:00.004+01:002008-08-22T18:23:10.078+01:00

Why hasn't anyone created instead of a soft play cafe... a soft play beauty parlour??I am getting fatter eating scrummy cakes at soft play to the extent I would prefer not to go, as I cannot afford the calories. But I would feel rejuvenated by a manicure, or maybe a facial whilst the girls went and played.So what about it? Do we think I am onto a potential gold mine?

Southerner North of Border (SNOB)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15457303491153557544noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-74708378122595255392008-08-21T13:32:00.003+01:002008-08-21T13:48:13.880+01:00

Yup, little ol' me had planned to go out. Arranged it and EVERYTHING! Booked the date with DH to come home early (6 o'clock I had pleaded but knew 6:30 and I could just scrape it).I was excited all day at the prospect of seeing the infamous Ms Colgan live on stage. (Of course I was going to hide but had imagined a more confident me, throwing frilly knickers at her every time she made a funny).But

Southerner North of Border (SNOB)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15457303491153557544noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-73056673089960648962008-08-21T10:46:00.005+01:002008-08-21T11:30:49.466+01:00

Previous marriages, now there's an odd thing. How does the relationship with ones ex  continue in life? Some people tootle along in life having very very bad relationships, forever nasty and children visits being acrimonious. Some people get on very well relieved that they are no longer together, but as normal people get on with their lives in new directions, only coming together for the

housewifenowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03565772236607715076noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-21324608567796844552008-08-19T13:10:00.003+01:002008-08-19T13:18:32.946+01:00

Felt rather chuffed with my achievements. Managed to organise myself to get the sparkly tapping shoes for the 2 year old in time for her lesson today. 6 am I heard clattering. She had gone to bed the night before with her kit on her pillow, refusing to be detached from it. When I dragged myself from my pit, there she was bouncing away in full leotard, ballet socks and sparkly taps on. She was

Southerner North of Border (SNOB)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15457303491153557544noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-44309811118211255482008-08-18T12:55:00.002+01:002008-08-18T13:10:29.959+01:00

That is me, not the 3 year old returning to pre-school.I planned last night their clothes, prepped them all ready so they knew exactly what we were going to do and when so that we would be out of the door and there on time. (Of course we were ready FAR too early, but it is day 1 and they were very excited).But when we got to school I got that nasty pit in my stomach. Most of the children were now

Southerner North of Border (SNOB)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15457303491153557544noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-47212451719039023002008-08-17T20:59:00.004+01:002008-08-18T07:11:22.938+01:00

What is it about being a girl (woman) that reduces me to having a Verucca Salt requirement for things?Today I felt compelled to rip out the carpets and curtains in my sitting room. I have disliked them with a passion when I moved into my house last October. They were brown and whizzy patterned and just the taste of an older person, a much much older person than me!A stranger pointed out that I

housewifenowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03565772236607715076noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-13094166482297226362008-08-17T20:35:00.002+01:002008-08-17T21:03:35.116+01:00

Gok eat your heart out, you ain't properly dressed until you've got yerself an "outfit". (The *techie* term for a caravan).I am so not into "glamping", why anyone would want to got in a tent this summer is beyond me, wet is an under-statement. But, I am secretly starting to quite like the caravan...But certain things about the whole experience still cause me concern...Why, do they supply you with

Southerner North of Border (SNOB)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15457303491153557544noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-49552487288666033812008-08-14T12:10:00.002+01:002008-08-14T12:28:54.850+01:00

After my resignation, then my boss saying he had decided not to keep me on after all (by looking for a 1 week fixed days for me, he changed his mind)  I informed my parents that I was leaving after all.They seemed to then feel guilty calling me up 1st thing this morning and demanding  a meeting.Well after many calculations, and yet another lecture from my father (yes I am nearly 40 yrs old)It

housewifenowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03565772236607715076noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-16251114753723319362008-08-13T20:23:00.006+01:002008-08-13T21:25:26.782+01:00

I honestly did *want* to be a competitive Mother, or maybe just a smug one.Competitive Mums have got it sussed, their children are incredibly good at something and as a consequence that Mummy has every right to be proud and shout it from the roof tops.But my children have not read that rule book, well they can't read. I suspect the eldest can read allot more than she let's on, but as she refused

Southerner North of Border (SNOB)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15457303491153557544noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-40420311749006111472008-08-12T15:45:00.004+01:002008-08-12T17:55:25.968+01:00

By 8:30 this morning I had done two loads of washing, tidied house, made some soup for lunch and double choc muffins for my roofers. This was because I had scheduled a "play date" for 9:30 and this lady does not know the sorry state I / we get the house into. By the time they arrived at 11 the house was worse than before I tidied, the beautifully brushed and tied back hair of the big girls was

Southerner North of Border (SNOB)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15457303491153557544noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-41780491232322652392008-08-12T14:41:00.002+01:002008-08-12T14:50:31.175+01:00

Whilst working in my little part time choccie shop today, a teacher came into work that I had pre 'O' levels (yes I'm THAT old!)I deliberated whether or not to chat to him, but decided to reveal myself in the end. He had in fact recognised me already (how can teachers do that...?) Anyway, I had to tell him that I had gone on from his lessons to do a history and politics degree and yes he had been

housewifenowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03565772236607715076noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-84326267722973522682008-08-12T14:22:00.002+01:002008-08-12T14:41:19.905+01:00

I've had a hard few days I can tell you! After my Friday night chat with my parents about how they can't have my children anymore, we spent the weekend invstigating finances and how we would cope without that little extra bit of cash. I emailed my resignation to my boss on Sunday so that he'd get the news early Monday and I'd be serving my notice. I tell my parents on Monday that I need them to

housewifenowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03565772236607715076noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-14458190350469801432008-08-11T18:52:00.008+01:002008-08-11T20:55:57.374+01:00

I am such a bad parent. I have just done the unthinkable. The first I did a while ago - I told them Cbeebies was broken and will never work, EVER again.But tonight, I have not read them bed time stories, we have watched 3 Mr Men stories on DVD (original Mr Men, not the new "hip" Mr Men series). Gave them each a pile of Mr Men books and packed them off to bed. Neither can read, but they have gone

Southerner North of Border (SNOB)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15457303491153557544noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-35994570031135223912008-08-10T15:57:00.003+01:002008-08-10T16:13:29.301+01:00

It's funny how I manage to control my anger and fustration.I have been let down in a large way by my parents this weekend which now means that I will have to give up my little part time job in a local chocolate shop. Something that I have doing purely for the me-time and banter with the outer world.So how do I express my anger? Well initially I have fired off a few emails to my brother in Sydney

housewifenowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03565772236607715076noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-36887562801350716612008-08-09T19:36:00.004+01:002008-08-11T20:56:26.690+01:00

I have just made a decision - well I actually made two but I will make a cup of tea after I have written this.I am going to log for the next few days all the different jobs I do as part of my job.Boring - it probably will be, so feel free to ignore me!

Southerner North of Border (SNOB)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15457303491153557544noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-3389223765713428762008-08-09T19:05:00.004+01:002008-08-11T20:55:12.540+01:00

How do other housewives get to have a hangover? Is there such a thing as a hangover sitter? And why, at 34, do I still drink too much on a Friday night? It took using the electronic nanny in the corner tuned into Charlotte's Web, pills, a bath, eating lard, a couple of tassimmos, before I stopped feeling sick and able to get in the car to go shopping. (Long after lunchtime!)'Eck, I bet those

Southerner North of Border (SNOB)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15457303491153557544noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-66375262319582095402008-08-08T17:24:00.008+01:002008-08-11T20:58:06.901+01:00

I have had a terrible day, suffice to say I have done lots of toddler appropriate swearing and left them to the safety of Cat in the Hat whilst I tried to sort it all out.Anyhoo, was giggling with my neighbour (beautiful, thin blond, working and no children) and she commented to her DH that I had been photographing the builders and putting them on Facebook. He was apparently flabbergasted, "Is

Southerner North of Border (SNOB)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15457303491153557544noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-31886402882679110452008-08-07T20:10:00.006+01:002008-08-11T20:58:35.563+01:00

Now, I know I did a little blogette earlier, but blimey when it rains does it pour!And that is what it has done all day. When you work and have a crappy day, you leave early, pour yourself a large drink and then do whatever you want to do for the rest of the evening / night.But my current working hours are pants (rate of pay is very poor too, but the Radley bag compensation at the weekend is

Southerner North of Border (SNOB)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15457303491153557544noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-943429384784496112008-08-07T17:27:00.002+01:002008-08-07T17:56:31.163+01:00

"Yeah Gordon can cook alright, but he can't make dinner  for the kids, simultaneously empty and refill the dishwasher, washing machine, tumble dryer, place a child on a naughty step, re- place a child on a naughty step, surf the net for information, apply for a little job, think deeply about business ventures, wipe faces, noses, cupboards, kitchen surfaces, teach  child to ride a bike, teach the

housewifenowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03565772236607715076noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-49420397612884193162008-08-07T10:45:00.006+01:002008-08-11T20:59:00.278+01:00

Snob here....Now I just know I will be ranting over this topic allot of the next few days.You see, we have the roofers in. They are fabulous, but it is raining and they are at home in their nice dry houses. I now understand why my 3 year old said she had monsters in her room last night.Plop, plop, plop. The rain has finally penetrated the 125 year old roof. The Disney princess teapot has been put

Southerner North of Border (SNOB)http://www.blogger.com/profile/15457303491153557544noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079288649127835641.post-86631026703638311302008-08-06T22:00:00.003+01:002008-08-06T22:11:34.153+01:00

To kick off with, anyone who is computer savvy will soon discover that with a child leaning against you, you soon become adept at the 1 handed typing. it will be a rare occurance for me to be typing on here with 2, and when I manage it, my blog with my fellow bad housewife SNOB, will become so much longer!Just a short one to start off with because, like a lot of housewives around the country, I

housewifenowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03565772236607715076noreply@blogger.com3